First Time Mommy Tips

     Having a baby young was hard. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how hard it was really going to be. Being a mom is not an easy job. While it is the best thing in the world, at times it can seem like a day is an eternity. Especially if you don't have your baby daddy/boyfriend/husband there to help you. I always say if I didn't have my mom and mother in law I would have been lost. Literally. I am also an independent kind of person when it comes to child. I like to do things just him and I. I guess it's that because I want him to stay my little boy forever. Now that he's 2 and 3 months were thinking were ready for another. A 3 year age gap is the perfect age gap, in my opinion.  So this next time around (no it hasn't happened yet) I am going to do things so much differently. Everyone always says that your first is always an experiment, lol in some ways I guess that's true. But anyway, here are some advise I have for first time moms. Things I wish people told me.

     1. It's going to be hard. Regardless of how good of a sleeper your newborn is, it's going to be tough to balance this new person in your life that you are completely responsible for. Your life will never be the same so make sure you are ready to take on the role of being a mom. Or even a single mom. That makes it 10 times harder if your baby daddy isn't going to stick around. I give major props to single moms because I don't think I could have done it by myself without going stir crazy.

     2. BREASTFEED! Seriously, do you know how expensive formula is?! If you're going to go organic you can add 5$ more to that price of formula every single week maybe week and a half. Earths Best Organic Formula is truly the best. Ordering it online it cost $28.15 not including shipping an handling. I know in the stores it's more. So just let that sink in. There is cheaper formulas out there but organic is the way to go. And also, it's a proven fact that breast fed babies are smarter.

     3. Diapers and Wipes. Now if you choose to cloth diaper you'll fork out a lot more money in the beginning but end up saving a lot more in the end. I've never done it so I'm not the person to ask. Making your own baby wipes with Organic Coconut Oil is a good way to save money also. Again, I haven't done it so I don't know how well they work or how well they clean the poop off.  Just something to think about. Also having to buy diapers and wipes (always, always but the biggest box of wipes possible because you use 3 times and many wipes as you do a diaper. For instance, the baby poops. So you use 7-8 wipes to clean him then only one diaper to put on him again) Remember that. We used to have to buy wipes every 3 days because we didn't catch on until he was like 3 months old. Lol

     4. DON'T BUY NEWBORN CLOTHES! And don't register for them. Unless the doctor tells you that you're going to have a preemie, don't buy a bunch of newborn clothes and register for them. Buy a few newborn outfits a few 0-3 Month outfits and a ton of 3 month outfits. I can't tell you how much newborn stuff I never even used because my son outgrew them within the first week of his life. Especially if you wash and dry them first, (which I highly, highly recommend doing!) Also don't go crazy with the blankets and bibs just yet. Newborns don't need a bib. Especially if you are breast feeding. It's just unnecessary. Until your baby starts eating solids, a burp cloth will do just fine.

     5. Breathable Bumpers is a must. All these bedding sets that come with these puffy bumpers are just asking for a lawsuit. Your baby can't really move if you put them in the crib. Even in the middle of the crib they are somewhat wiggle worms after the first few weeks of their life and they could easily wiggle up to the bumper and suffocate themselves. Babies don't know how to move away from things like that until after 6 months of their life. Despite how smart you think your newborn is, they still don't know how to help themselves. And you will sleep much easier knowing that if their little face smashes up against the bumper, they can still breathe.

     6. Newborn shoes are completely unnecessary. Like seriously your baby is going to be held or on the floor for tummy time so there is absolutely no need for shoes. And they just look dumb, in my opinion.  After 3-4 months, maybe. But seriously until they start standing on their own there is no need for shoes.

     7. Car seat and Stroller. Invest In a good one because you're going to use it every day. And also, make sure the stroller can fit in the trunk to your car. If you like to exercise then get a jogging stroller with the car seat that goes along with it. Always match brands. Never combine different ones. They are made to go together for a reason. Also, take a car seat safety class. You'd be surprised at how many people put their newborns in wrong. The hospital will help you when you leave after you give birth also.

These are just some tips from
One mommy to another. I hope they can help some Mommy's! Any questions please email me at Melissalaspata@gmail.com  I'll try my best to answer any questions!

Be a lover, not a fighter.

     Having a little boy is great. I love the dirt, bugs, and trucks.  But teaching a little boy to grow up and be a caring and loving man is another thing. I am very big on teaching my son to be compassionate. I want him to care about other people, as well as himself. For those of you who don't know the real meaning of Compassion is: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.
     So teaching a little boy how to do that is a challenge. Most boys could care less about other people and their feelings.  But I've tried my hardest to teach my son how to do so. And I think I've done a pretty good job so far. I always say I want my son to grow up to be a gentleman. I don't want him to be an arrogant person who has no regards for other people. I want him to have goals, and accomplish them and to be strong willed, but not a sexist. Hopefully, along with teaching my son how to do these things he will be successful in life and respect women as long as he lives.

Here are some tips for raising little boys to be gentlemen:

• Show him love- Not just the love between you and him, show him how to love another person. Like your husband or boyfriend. If your son watches your husband/boyfriend treat you badly then obviously he's going to think that's how a man treats a woman. I know this isn't the most ideal of examples but it probably is the most important one.
• Pets-Now this is just another example. But honestly, a dog is a mans best friend. And if you have a dog, you know this. We have a little 5 pound  Yorkie, and while he is only 5 pounds he is a lot of dog. We got our dog when I was 5 months pregnant and it was one of the best $1500 we spent. (lol) My dog and my son are best friends and I know that my son truly cares about him as if he is a little brother. I always say that when little boys grow up with a dog, they're more caring people when they grow up because they've had to watch out for them and take care of them. It also teaches boys responsibility. Which they need to learn at a young age, in my opinion.
• Manners- another BIG thing. I am very tough on my son about his manners. Even at 2 years and 3 months he knows that he does not get something unless he says Please and Thank You. I always say that manners never go out of style. Especially for boys/men. Obviously he is a little boy still so I can only teach him so much right now but I will make sure of it that he has his manners and he behaves like a gentlemen should.
• Temper-Now I know that boys and men can have a temper, believe me, I know. Especially us Italians, But learning to control their temper is something they are going to have to learn. Along the way of them learning to control their temper, its your job as his mother to teach him a few things that go along with getting mad. You have to teach him and tell him that what hes feeling is okay. Everyone gets mad, but how you handle yourself in those situations will set you apart from others. In a good way of course. Make sure you let him know that when he gets mad it is not acceptable for him to hurt himself or others. He can not break things, especially if something doesn't belong to him.

      

Try these few tips and see if they help. I know from experience with my son that these tips and tricks work. I hope they can help some other moms. And don't forget, kids are sponges. What they see is what they become. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE AND ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR CHILD.

Check It Out!

Hey everyone! So I know my last post was a little different than usual, but there was a reason I did that. Nico and I, along with other mommies were featured in a magazine! All about pregnancy. Its a very informative magazine and I advise all new moms and pregnant women to read it! You might learn something new or it might answer a question that you were somewhat embarrassed to ask. Please click this link http://chicasmag.blogspot.com/ and take the survey once you're done reading it. Enjoy!!

Welcome to the Mommy Club

At what point do you realize that not only are you a mother,  but you're a MOM. Whether you want to be called a mom or not, you are one now. You're going to walk around with spit up on your clothes and your hair looking a mess because you have a kid and you really don't care how you look. Truthfully all moms out there can admit to running to the store for milk with your pajamas on and you honestly could care less. Hoping not to see anyone you know in the process, of course. But really, not saying that once you become a mom you have to let yourself go, because I don't agree with that at all but honestly you had a kid and your life is changed...forever now.

People say that having a baby is easy, and yes they're right. HAVING a baby is easy, sort of. Taking care of a  baby is the hard part. Luckily newborns only drink breast milk or formula, and you know what's awesome? Breast milk is FREE! If you choose to breastfeed your baby will be smarter later on in life. It's a proven fact. Formula fed babies grow differently than breastfed babies also. I am a huge believer in breast feeding and even though I had a hard time with it, I did it for as long as I could.

Becoming a Mom

When you are pregnant you have all these thoughts running through your head. Like what kind of mom are you going to be? Are you going to be a cool mom? Or a strict mom? And honestly, you don't know what kind of mom you're going to be because you have no idea what your baby is going to be like. For instance, what If your baby has colic and they just cry all the time...are you going to be able to handle that? Or are you going to go crazy?

  These are the things you have to ask yourself before you give birth. Even before you have unprotected sex ask yourself if you're ready to be a mom, If you even second guess yourself, please don't have unprotected sex. There are enough babies born into this world whose parents can't even take care of themselves let alone an infant, or child for the next 18+ years.

But I say this with the utmost respect, Welcome to the Mommy Club. The club where coffee is your new best friend and sleep is your long lost lover. (That you'll eventually meet again..hopefully) The club where you cry over everything and nothing is in its place. Get used to it. Your a Mom now.

The Terrifying Scream

There is nothing more terrifying then when your child gets hurt, especially when it's something this serious. My heart still aches just talking about this but I feel the need to share this with all of my readers.

The scariest moment of my life. When my 2 year olds head is split open and there is blood everywhere. My heart sank right away and I thought I was going to get sick. I started to hysterically cry and shaking like you would not believe. We got his things together and I put him in my car and drove like a crazy person to the hospital. The longest car ride of my life. My sister in law was trying to keep my son awake because we didn't know if he had a concussion or not. A few minutes later we arrive at the hospital and I took my son out of the car and ran into the hospital and screamed "2 year old with a serious head injury we need help now!" They took us back right away thank god. He wasn't crying but I was. The nurses put this numbing cream on his head before they even looked at it really just to stop the pain.

He did not like the numbing cream

     So rewind a few hours my son was playing with a snow globe that he always plays with, I was downstairs and my sister in law was watching him. I hear my son crying and I was just thinking to myself oh he just fell he'll be okay in a second then when I still heard him crying and my mom say "Melissa get his things together were going to the hospital" I thought to myself, oh my God what the hell happened? My mom pulls the towel off my sons head and there is a gaping hole in my child's forehead. He split his head open on the snow globe as he was trying to lay down with it. It all happened so fast there is nothing I, my mom, or my sister in law could have done to stop it. It was just a freak accident.

     So back to the hospital, my husband arrived and my son could not have been happier to see his daddy. I was so relieved that my husband was there I just hugged him and broke down. Our poor little baby has a huge hole in his head and is going to need stitches at just 2 years old. So a few minutes later they bring the papoose in (basically a straight jacket for a kid) and strap him in and start stitching him up. I couldn't look, I just held his feet and hysterically cried. My husband was up by his chest helping the doctors hold him down. I was too much of a mess and I didn't want my son seeing me like that because I knew it would upset him even more. The doctors put 3 inner stitches in to close the wound and 7 outer stitches in. He actually fell asleep as they were stitching him up. That helped me calm down a lot as well because he wasn't screaming and crying for me anymore. So after they stitched him up and everyone was out of the room we woke him up and he was terrified. I guess he forgot for a second what happened then remembered and started crying again. But after a few minutes he was fine. He got stickers and lollipops galore! He was a happy camper after that.

 

Day 1 with stitches

The first time he saw his stitches Day 2

He looked a little silly with a huge band aid on his head for 10 days but it was worth it.

    The next 10 days didn't get any easier either. We had to keep it covered at all times and put what we call "magic lotion" on it. Really just medicine, but telling him it was magic lotion made it a lot easier to get on and off. We were leaving for the shore on Saturday and this happened on a Tuesday morning so leaving for the shore just got a whole lot more difficult. But we managed. Nico had a great time down the shore. He got his stitches out 10 days after it happened and his scar is looking better and better every day. I am so thankful that he is okay. I thank God every day that it wasn't worse. Even though it was really bad, it could have been worse.

After his stitches were out

His scar is looking better and better every day. I will be putting a mixture of coconut oil and vitamin E oil on it every day until its gone or pretty much gone. 

Going Green

     So I know I haven't posted anything in a while, we were getting ready for my sons 2nd birthday party, so needless to say we were extremely busy. But a few weeks before that my sister in law sent me this email about GMO's. So after reading that email I was disgusted. Seriously GMOs are in EVERYTHING! Its really a shame because not only are GMOs bad for adults, they're extremely bad for kids! For those of you that don't know GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organism. And what it is, is an organism whose genetic material has been altered using genetic engineering techniques. Organisms that have been genetically modified include micro-organisms such as bacteria and yeast, insects, plants, fish, and mammals. GMOs are the source of genetically modified foods, and are also widely used in scientific research and to produce goods other than food. So needless to say, they're just bad for you. 
     So I have always tried to not eat like crap and I don't want my kid eating like crap either, so a few years ago I went to beauty school up in Marlton, NJ and its right across from Whole Foods and we went there a couple times for lunch and I knew it was all organic but I never knew about GMOs or anything obviously until a few weeks ago. So then I also heard about Trader Joes and I heard some stuff was cheaper than Whole Foods so I figured I'd try Trader Joes first just to see what all the fuss was about. And let me tell you, I am totally loving Trader Joes. Okay I'll admit it, I'm kind of obsessed with that place. I go there at least once a week and its a good 45 minutes away from my house and honestly, I don't care one bit about spending the extra money on gas because its totally worth it. I first only went there to get the oh so fabulous coconut oil that I'm 100% obsessed with then while walking around the store I realized how cheap things were, and all Organic too! I was amazed. So after looking around at all the food they have this little section of beauty products like Shampoo and Conditioner. So I was looking at this one shampoo by Trader Joes and its called Nourish Spa, so I started reading the ingredients and on the back of the bottle and it says Enhanced with organic botanicals, it does not contain laurel/laureth sulfates. And I was amazed because 1. Its organic shampoo and conditioner and 2. It doesn't contain harsh sulfates! SCORE!! As a hairdresser I know that sulfates are bad for your hair because they take out the natural oils in your hair and it can cause hair to become dry and brittle. So after reading all the ingredients on the bottle I was sold. Now theres only one thing stopping me from buying it, the price. So here it is ladies......$2.99  I kid you not! $2.99 for a 16.9 fl oz of organic sulfate free shampoo! And the conditioner is the same price and same size too! Best Find Ever!

 

Shampoo

Conditioner

     And let me add that it smells fantastic and works amazing. Sorry for the half used bottles but I'm seriously obsessed with this stuff. I highly recommend this if you're having trouble with your hair and don't know what to do about it. Try this for a week and I promise you, your hair will feel and look better. Don't forget to comb your hair in the shower! My secret trick to smooth healthy hair!

     So back to the GMOs...here's a list that my fabulous sister in law sent me of everything that has GMOs in it. Please don't hate me for sharing this but hopefully you'll think twice next time you go to shop rite 

So gross right?! Read up on GMOs and you'll know why so many people have switched to organic GMO free food. 

Encouragement

Having a little boy is amazing. Even though he loves bugs, dirt and cars, that's the fun of having a boy! And also the love of sports. My son is obsessed with baseball. He plays baseball probably about 3-4 hours a day. He's had a tee for about 6 months now and he is absolutely amazing at hitting the ball off the tee. He has always had a love for baseball. The past few days he's been trying and trying to hit the ball by throwing it to himself. And yesterday, he mastered it. I seriously could not believe my eyes when I saw him throw the ball in the air and hit it. It was absolutely amazing to see the look on his face. I know he felt like he was on top of the world. But I have to stress this one subject, encouragement. The most important thing for a toddler is to feel like they are doing something good. Especially when they start knowing right from wrong. There are so many different ways to encourage your child. It doesn't matter how you show them that your proud of them, just do it. I like to use words like-

• Good Job! -it doesn't matter if they miss or they hit it a mile far, make sure you tell them they did a good job.
• Try Again- at first when he would miss hitting the ball he would freak out because he was getting frustrated and I seriously had to get down to his level (another important thing, always get on their level so your talking to them not at them.) And I had to tell him that it's okay to mess up. Everyone messes up and and everyone misses sometimes. Alls you have to do is Try Again! And from then on every time he misses I always say to Try Again. And he says it too.

And also, Just get excited, seriously-they are kids and anything and everything they do is amazing. Whether you say Yay, Awesome job or Good hit I always make a big deal when he hits the ball. Even if he only hits a piece of it. He's my son and he's the best little boy ever. I am so proud to be his Mama.